I’ve had a lot of friends reach out to me lately regarding their relationship status. Some of them are single and dating, some in the talking phase, some in relationships. What I seem to keep hearing over and over again though is a feeling of inadequacy. Girls wondering why they simply weren’t enough. I used to struggle with this as well. I mean if we’re being totally honest who hasn’t taken the blame for someone not choosing them at least once?
Rejection in any form can trigger underlying insecurities and make us wonder why we weren’t enough for the individual. Why couldn’t this person see us for what our friends and family see us as? Why didn’t they think we were enough of a catch for them to stop trolling bars and dating apps? Why is it that we get traded in for the next best thing?
My view on this has changed drastically over the years. I used to bear the cross of rejection spending way too many hours analyzing myself and rehashing jerk after jerk with my girlfriends. Thankfully, I dated some truly wonderful gems and have an incredible support system who have helped me get to the place where I am now. Where is that? It’s above all of the judgement.
What I’ve learned is that most of the time people aren’t really thinking about you. It’s honestly not really about you at all. Timing is everything. Finding a strong connection with someone is actually really hard. You aren’t going to click with every person you go out with. You aren’t going to see fireworks and feel your heart drop to your stomach just over anyone. It takes time to find the right people for yourself.
Previously, I wrote about finding your friends and surrounding yourself with positivity. I think dating is no different. You might go out with one person and know they are your soulmate instantly. You might go out with 5 million people and not connect with any of them. You might find someone who captures your heart and turns you into a total mush only to be ghosted, or rejected. It’s ok. The lesson is to not lose yourself despite whatever scenario is currently going on in your life. People will come and go, but you’re stuck with yourself forever. So, make yourself someone you want to be around.
I hope that you don’t settle for comfortable, or convenient. I hope that when someone doesn’t choose you, you still choose yourself. I hope that you are kind to yourself and love yourself when someone else decides not to. I hope that you’ll remember your worth and uniqueness and you won’t skip a beat for anyone else who doesn’t as well. I’m not saying strive for perfection, but I am saying strive for your best.
One of my girlfriends and I were talking last night and she just made my day. She was so sweet and selective with her words. We were talking about life and she said “you deserve everything. You deserve a good morning text and above and beyond. You deserve everything.” And she’s right, I do and so do you. We all deserve that.
So, I challenge you to let go of the ones who don’t give you everything. Life is too short to be half ass. Life is too short to blame yourself instead of recognizing that sometimes things aren’t meant to be. We waste time wondering why x,y,z didn’t work out when we could be making something else happen.
I hope that you know your worth. I hope that you only allow relationships that propel you to be the best version of yourself. I hope that you choose YOU. ❤