On this beautiful fall evening, I would like to share some things the past few months have taught me:
Your mindset matters
Regardless of what you’re aspiring to change, or who you want to become, you must believe in the power of mind over matter. I have moments where I let my emotions guide me, but I’ve gotten way better at controlling them and not being controlled by them. Feelings are wonderful, but you can’t live your life according to them, because they change and are unreliable.
I understand that some feelings need to be dealt with and that might mean throwing yourself a pity party and owning the fact that no one possibly has it worse than you and no one understands and boo hoo, etc. Eventually (sooner rather than later), you need to ditch the seamless that comes with two forks… no they aren’t insulting you when they think you’ve ordered for two, maybe you’ve just ordered too much. Stop rewatching Bridget Jones and put the gym membership you’re paying a million dollars for to use… just speaking to myself here? C0000L.
Seriously though, think about it. Think about the most gut-wrenching breakup, horrific death, or massive disappointment you’ve had to deal with. It’s not that the issue ever became less painful on its own. Rather, it’s that you decided to change the way you dealt with it and thus changed your mindset. You stopped allowing how you were feeling to dictate your actions and you started doing things you knew would make you feel better. You probably fell off track a few times (or if you’re like me, more than a few), but the progress you made kept you going. You didn’t allow minor setbacks to define you. You believed that by stepping outside of your comfort zone you would eventually feel better and wah-la eventually, you did.
There is power in planning and preparation
When you’re in a funk and you’re wanting to make a massive change, it can feel extremely overwhelming and scary. In addition to getting your mind right, you need to be consistent with your actions. This doesn’t mean that you can’t trial and error new interests, but what it does mean is that having some consistency and stability builds confidence. For me, knowing that each day I’m making small and measurable strides towards my long-term goals makes me feel more confident and excited about the process.
That said, is it fun to plan everything? Nah. BUT… there is also power in your perspective. When you change your perspective and the way you view tasks at hand, it can change your life. Suddenly, seemingly meniscal tasks become much more rewarding.
Being optimistic and taking action will seal the deal
If we change our mindsets, prepare, show up with optimism and enthusiasm for the tasks at hand we will succeed. It is truly that simple. So, I challenge you to step away from the things that provide temporary relief, but long term discomfort. Don’t settle for what’s comfortable, strive for what’s better.
Why carpe the diem?
Lately, I’ve been asking various professionals what they wish they’d known when they were my age, or what they would have done differently. I’ve been researching various books and reading an insane amount of articles about these questions. What I’ve found so far is that we often tend to get so caught up in the future, or stuck on the past that we forget to seize the moment we’re currently in.
Most of the time, we worry about things that don’t end up happening. We harp on things we can’t change and ultimately we waste time. Time is the most precious aspect of our lives. We don’t know how much of it we have and we don’t have the power to control when our hourglass runs out. When I think about this concept, I’m filled with a deep desire to make the most of it.
Today, one of my best friends texted my girl gang group chat to make sure we were all safe. Unclear exactly what happened, but safe to say that shots were fired near the world trade center, essentially one block from where she works. It is still unclear as to whether or not there were shots, but most reports have indicated yes. Moreover, multiple pedestrians were hit by a truck driver who maliciously plowed through people and killed and injured majority of them.
The same scenario happened a few months ago by my office in Times Square. It was the first time in my five years of living here that I had heard of an instance like this and having been so close to it, it scared me. Today, I feel the same fear and grief for those harmed by such a violent act.
I don’t bring up these examples to incite fear, or be depressing. Rather, I bring them up to remind everyone that life is fleeting. We can’t control how much time we’re blessed with on this earth, but we can control how we make the most of what we’re given.
What can you do to ensure every grain of sand that slips through your hourglass counts for something?