I’ve spent the past 5 days in my apartment. I’ve been sick and apparently could’ve potentially avoided such a long confinement had I not procrastinated going to the doctor. I thought that if I waited it out I would miraculously get better, but of course I did not.
So I slept a lot, watched a lot of shameless, attempted to paint nails (they look hideous), I began deep cleaning and finding things to give away. This was all today. The other days I spent my time laying in bed sleeping and eating soup. I wanted to plan my big fall reset, I wanted to reach out to contacts, I wanted feel like myself again.
This is what I learned while being off the grid:
- Just because someone doesn’t call or text to check on you doesn’t mean they don’t care
- I believe sickness can come as a blessing in disguise, it forces you to just stop everything
- Todays problems will be there tomorrow and sometimes it’s ok to hit pause and turn off for a bit
Initially, I was so upset to have not heard from certain people. I wondered how they could know I was ill and not bother to even send a text. Then I realized something, we all have things going on and just because you don’t hear from someone doesn’t mean they don’t care, or they aren’t thinking of you. I also realized that I can’t set expectations for how I want people to respond to me. People are going to be themselves and I can either accept that, or remove them from my life. It’s not my place to change anyone.
So was sitting here feeling sorry for myself as as any sick girl would, my friend reminded me of all the people who love me in my life. The amount of phone calls and texts I received were truly incredible.
I think so often we focus on what we don’t have that we miss the bigger picture. That picture is the Mosaic of all the loved ones who show up through the good, bad and ugly. The ones who love you when you’re a hot mess and praise you when you’re a major success.
Things have been rough for me lately. I received negative feedback and I’ve been doing my best to learn from it and grow from it. That said, it doesn’t make it any less discouraging. I’ve had to actively rewire my brain to focus on all that is good and all the possibilities ahead.
So as we enter another manic Monday I encourage you to surprise yourself. Do the uncomfortable things and fight for your worth 💜.